The right community

When it comes to health and wellness, surrounding yourself with the right community is just as important as working out and making healthy eating choices. If you don’t already, I recommend making it a priority to find the right people who are on the same path as you and share a similar vision for their future. Sometimes we wait for the right community to come to us, but many times we can put forth the effort it takes to connect with the right people.

Sometimes the right community does not always include people we are on the same level with. Sometimes it includes surrounding yourself with people who are further than you. This will challenge you to step your game up, mature and receive constructive criticism from someone who has been where you are and genuinely wants to see you be better. 

When I first started my fitness journey, I was surrounded by people who shared the same mindset as me. However, this actually wasn’t good because they did not push me to be closer to my goals.  They did not know how to because they were in the same place as me. This led me to be stagnant. It was not until I took a season to be alone to re-evaluate my goals and priorities, figure out who I wanted to be and how I was going to get there that I was able to make the space for the right people to enter into my life.

Making space

As I said before, in order for the right people to come into our lives, we need to make space for them. This includes the process of decluttering. Not physically, but mentally and socially. We need to declutter certain mindsets and habits that hold us back from who we really want to be. We also need to distance ourselves from people who hold us back. This is definitely easier said than done, especially when we really care about someone. However, we will only grow resentment when we keep hanging around people who do not help us grow and who we also do not help grow. It’s a tough choice, but one your future self will thank you for.

When I was distancing myself from certain people, I felt bad. However, in hindsight, I realize I shouldn’t have felt bad at all. This is because it was never about them. It was about me doing what I needed to do to get closer to my purpose and my destiny. I had a duty to fulfill my calling. I had to separate myself in order to help myself and others. Jesus himself took time alone regularly in order to spiritually mature and prepare for his missions. 

Seeking out mentors

As I said before, there comes a time where we need to surround ourselves and intentionally be poured into by people who are further in life than we are. This does not necessarily mean financially, although it can mean this too. But this also means people who are more mature physically and spiritually. When I first started my health and wellness journey, I wanted so bad to be like the people I saw online who had reached goals that seemed so far away for me. It did become a bit unhealthy for me, so I want to make it clear that I am not suggesting idolization. I am just saying that it is okay to look up to someone and aspire to be like them, but in your own way. Now, I look back and I can’t believe that I am in the same boat as some of the people I look up to. I have developed and cultivated a mindset similar to theirs. One of resilience, discipline and consistency. 

I say all that to say that you should have at least one person around you who you can look up to and can pour into you. Don’t let pride or ego stop you from receiving tough love. I used to be very prideful and did not believe that I needed help. But as the bible says, pride comes before the fall of man. Instead, we should humble ourselves to receive wise counsel.

Doing the inner and outer work

Lastly, finding the right community includes doing the work within yourself. This way, when the right people come your way, you will be ready to receive them. As I mentioned above, when God sent mentors my way, I did not have the spiritual eyes to recognize what He was doing and I was too prideful to receive them. I don’t want that for you. The way to avoid this is to do the work within yourself, so you are able to recognize when someone is trying to help and receive that help.

The outer work includes seeking out the right people. This does not mean you should force connections and seek out friendships from a place of desperation. This means you should step out of your comfort zone and speak to people, even if you have to initiate conversation. This also means hanging around others who think differently than you and who challenge you to grow. It can be very healthy to see things from other people’s perspectives. This is what helps us to grow.

Have you found your community yet? If not, what is one thing you can do to bridge the gap between yourself and the community you long to be a part of? Comment below!

Faith Over Feelings

Faith Over Feelings

For we walk by faith, not by sight

2 Corinthians 5:7

The above verse is a popular verse in the Christian community. It is also (or at least should be) a daily goal of ours to walk by faith and not by sight. However, many of us, including myself, do not always practice this. 

Walking by faith and not by sight is obviously not as easy as it sounds. Life can be hard, especially when the storm is raging. However, even then, it is possible to walk by faith and not by sight. In fact, Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples, walked on top of the raging water as the storm intensified. This is because nothing is impossible with God (Matthew 19:26). Even a mustard seed of faith can move a mountain (Matthew 17:20).

In this blog post I want to talk about how our feelings can hinder us from having faith in the Lord. Although we cannot physically see our feelings, many times we have more faith in them than we do in the Lord. Sometimes, we even idolize our feelings. Especially in today’s generation, there seems to be an obsession and idolization with anxiety and depression. I believe satan likes to mask this by making it seem like we are just becoming more aware of our feelings and breaking the stigmas of mental health by talking about it more. However, we are giving a lot of praise and worship to these feelings of sadness, sorrow, and anxiousness more than the Lord. The bible says we are to only praise and worship the Lord (Exodus 20:3).

I recently received a revelation that we can indeed idolize our feelings. I always thought idolization was reserved for things like marriage, people, music, tv shows, books, makeup, beauty, or coveting a certain lifestyle. However, I realized how the devil was deceiving me into focusing so much on my feelings that I completely started to ignore the promises of God and my faith dwindled.

But praise be to God! I went to a retreat last month that reignited my fire and reminded me how much power the Lord has given me! To speak life and feed my faith. The bible says that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

This is why it is important to draw close to God, whether through a retreat or simply sitting down and reading your bible. It feeds our faith instead of our fleshly feelings. Here are some spiritual and practical tools that will help you to walk by faith and not by sight -

1. Read your bible!!!

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Romans 10:17

I literally cannot say this enough. My pastor always says repetition is what makes things stick and it is true. So if you are an avid reader of my blogs you know I say this a lot, but read your bible!!! There are so many christians that do not read their bible! But then complain about the mental attacks that are coming their way, having a woe is me attitude. I’m not saying that the spiritual attacks will stop once you read your bible more often. However, you will be equipped to fight them off! Although they won’t ever completely stop, you will even find that they will subside because when we resist the devil, he flees! (James 4:7). It is so important to read our word because it literally feeds our spiritual man, while also destroying carnal and fleshly feelings that lead to sin. The bible says “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword” (Hebrews 4:12). Our feelings are no match for God’s word! Our feelings lie but His word is truth.

If you do not have a bible I recommend going to your local bookstore to find one. It is better to browse in person and see what bible best fits your wants and needs. You can choose a specific version, a study bible, a small bible if you are on the go often, etc.

1. Fast, Fast and then Fast some more!

Fasting is another spiritual tool that helps us to die to our flesh. Fasting is intense and powerful! My flesh hates fasting because it loves coffee, juice, sugar and carbs. However, my spirit loves fasting! My spirit is refueled, recharged and renewed after fasting and my flesh knows who is boss. Guys, we are not called to live carnal lives, but lives led by the Spirit (Romans 8:5-6). When we are constantly feeding our flesh we are only going to be deceived and led by our feelings. This is unfortunate because this leads us to sin and have fruitless lives. However, when we fast, we read more, we pray more and we are feeding our spirit and equipping ourselves to fight spiritually and not be consumed with our emotions. Fasting really puts things into perspective for us.

I recommend starting small if you have never fasted. Maybe sacrifice one or two meals or just fast for half of the day. If you are used to fasting, don’t stop! And remain sensitive to the spirit so you fast when He leads you to. If you do a Daniel fast every year keep going! If you fast one day a week do that as well! Fasting will increase your faith.

1. Surround yourself with godly community

I remember when my heart was hardened, I would still hang out with ungodly people. I thought that because I was christian I could hang out with the wicked and not be affected. I also thought I was strong enough to influence them. But again, I was being deceived by feelings! I was not strong enough to influence them. In fact, they were influencing me! It was not until I began to hang out with people who loved the Lord and actually lived out His word that my mindset began to change and consequently so did my actions.

Guys, do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). Psalm 1:1 says “blessed is the man that sitteth not in the counsel of the ungodly.” Until you are strong enough to be a witness and minister to people of the world, separate yourself. Do not be led by feelings of loneliness or fear of being left out. There are many, many people on the same journey of sanctification as you. Remove yourself from the wicked and you will see that space filled with godly friends!

I hope this blog post has helped you in more ways than one. In no way am I saying that you should ignore your feelings and be delusional. What I am saying is not to make your feelings your god. They are just feelings and we are not called to be victims or led by our feelings. We are called to be led by the Spirit of the Lord.

What Jesus Taught About Forgiveness and Why It Matters Today

Forgiveness: God’s plan

I often hear people say “forgive - not because the other person deserves it but because you deserve to be free.” Now, I do think this is true. We do deserve to be free. We should forgive people whether they deserve it or not because God forgives us whether we deserve it or not. I think when we forgive others, it shows the heart of God.

However, it bothers me when people make forgiving all about themselves. I don’t think that was God’s intention behind the act of forgiving - for it to only be for one party involved. I think God wants everyone involved in the situation to be healed and loved, not just the victim. 

At the end of the day, we all hurt people and get hurt by people. I don’t believe forgiveness is exclusively for the person that was hurt. I believe forgiveness is for the person who committed the wrongdoing too. Whether a physical crime or a crime by words - it is important to forgive others because it shows them how real and powerful God is. What if God wants to reach this person through you? What if you are the tool He wants to use to touch this person’s heart?

I understand this is not comfortable - to forgive & love those who have wronged us, but as a believer it is important to know that not every part of the journey is comfortable. Sometimes God uses us in ways that make us uncomfortable, but in the end it is for our good and more importantly, His glory.

In Matthew 18 Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother before he can stop extending mercy and start dubbing him (this would definitely be a question I would ask). To summarize, the conversation went a little something like this - 

Peter walks up to Jesus: “yo J, wassup let me holla at you real quick.”

Jesus: talk to me. 

Peter: about how many times can someone sin against me and I still forgive them? Like seven times?

Jesus: *smirks and chuckles*  - na, not seven times. Try seventy times seven.

Peter: Iight, Imma head out. 

Okay Peter probably didn’t say all that but I’m sure he was probably taken a back a little to know that as a follower of Jesus he not only had to forgive, but forgive over and over and over. 

Forgiving someone is an art not a science. There is no step-by-step program on how to forgive someone, nor is there a universal blueprint. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart and it starts with receiving God’s forgiveness. 

When we forgive someone, it is not a guarantee that they will have an amazing transformation and turn into the best person on earth. But it is planting a seed that you can’t see or it could be watering a seed that is already there. It is helping that person to see a little more of God’s light in a dark and scary world.

Forgiveness was never about someone deserving it. If that were the case, God would not have forgave us. But Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this - while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Forgiveness and love go hand in hand. Forgiveness is the byproduct of love. Let’s all strive to be more like Jesus by not only loving others but forgiving them.

A perfect example of forgiveness at work is when Paul and Silas were thrown into jail. This situation was really, really messed up. These two men were thrown into prison not for doing anything wrong - but for doing everything right - they were preaching the gospel and freed a woman who was a slave. Not only were they jailed but they were beaten! However, they praised their way through their night in jail and God set them free. Whew,  talk about praise being a weapon - but that’s a whole other post you can read about here. 

The best part of this story is not them being set free - the best part is them forgiving the very same guards that threw them in jail! They had every right to be bitter, upset and not extend mercy - but as believers and friends of God, they were empowered through Him to forgive. This act led to the guard that was watching over them to be saved. 

As Paul and Silas are praying and worshipping God - a great earthquake happens causing all of the prison doors and shackles to break open. Paul, Silas and all the prisoners were set free. Acts 16: 27-30 says, 

“The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”

The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

Do you see what took place? The guard panicked and was about to kill himself because he thought all the prisoners had escaped. He thought he messed up his job so bad that he would have been killed so he was about to kill himself. But God is so good - Paul shouted to him telling him not to harm himself because they were still there. Paul and Silas could have been out - but instead of fleeing the scene they wanted to make sure this man was okay. They cared more about his salvation than their escape.

Acts 16:31-34 reads, 

They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.

After this Paul and Silas were free to go in peace. What a beautiful story on the power of forgiveness. Paul and Silas were free to go and a man and his entire household were saved and came to know the word of God. Were Paul and Silas comfortable? No. I’m sure they were mad for being thrown into jail when they did nothing wrong. But they worshipped and praised God and showed God’s heart when they stopped the guard from harming himself and preached to him and his family. 

This is the power of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an act of obedience 

You know, as a believer, forgiveness is not optional. We don’t take our advice on forgiveness from the world. We don’t forgive those who deserve it and we don’t take revenge on the people who wronged us. We let God get revenge and we bless those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44).

Does this mean we let people walk all over us like a door mat? Absolutely not. 

But it does mean that we seek advice from God on how to handle a situation. If you are in need of wisdom on how to proceed in a situation where you were wronged ask God because He will tell you what to do. All of the answers are found in Him. He will point you to the scripture or story to give you wisdom. The Holy Spirit will guide you. You just have to listen.

This is why I say forgiveness is an art not a science. Every situation is different and often times complex, even petty situations. So we need to seek God for answers instead of allowing our emotions, culture or other people to lead us on what to do.

Vengeance is the Lord’s

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.”

• Romans 12:19

God gives us very specific instructions on trying to get revenge. Although you may be unsure about how to handle a situation where someone has wronged you, one thing that you know you should not do is seek revenge. God says that it is his job to avenge and to leave room for his wrath. 

Leaving room for his wrath means that we do not keep plotting to see ways we can get back at someone or be petty towards them. I understand this is sometimes our natural inclination - to treat others the same way they treat us, but a part of living out the gospel is putting those feelings to death and obeying the word of God - which says to trust God with all of our heart and not to lean on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). You can read more about trusting God here.

The result of forgiveness

We can’t always see the impact of our forgiveness towards the person who violated us. Sometimes they appreciate our forgiveness and sometimes they don’t. But one thing that we do know is the freedom we have when we forgive someone. We see it in how free we feel. When we forgive, we realize how much joy, happiness and laughter unforgiveness was stealing from us. When we make the choice to forgive others, it liberates us.

Receiving forgiveness

Lastly, I want to talk about receiving forgiveness. We are worthy of forgiveness - not because we haven’t done anything wrong, but because God says we are worthy. He proved this to us when he sent his only son to die a gruesome death on the cross so we can receive forgiveness for our sins. 

So the next time you feel like you don’t deserve forgiveness from God, yourself or others, remember that “God demonstrates his own love for us in this - While we were still sinners Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). ❤️

Fitness Culture: Is It Healthy?

Fitness Culture: Is it healthy?

In a world filled with diets, fads and trends, it is hard to decipher what exactly is healthy and what is not. As I reflect on my own fitness journey, I remember feeling a slight pressure to buy everything that claimed to help me lose weight, boost my energy and become healthy in a short amount of time. I have tried everything from waist trainers to flat tummy tea.

The reason why I was attracted to these things is because of the mindset that I had at the time. I was more interested in quick fixes and trends than I was in sustainability and longevity. I was definitely being influenced by influencers and advertisements. Now, I am still influenced by influencers and advertisements. However, I am not influenced to the point where I make impulsive decisions. I also make sure to consume content that aligns with my own mindset and goals. I want to connect with people and be a part of communities with like-minded individuals.

When it comes to the definition of ‘healthy’ it can vary for everyone. However, the fundamentals are the same. We are all human and we all need basic necessities to not just survive but thrive. We all need to eat whole, nutrient dense foods, we all need to get good, quality sleep and we all need to surround ourselves with a positive, healthy community. These are the basics for a full and fruitful life.

However, variables such as age, culture, genetics, anatomy, health history, and race all come into play and affect our journey towards a healthier lifestyle. Achieving a healthy lifestyle is a balance of art and science. It is about sticking to facts, but also being flexible enough to know that we are all different and facts do not apply to all of us the same way. 

So, in a world filled with diets, fads, trends and overwhelming information, how do we decipher what applies to us? How do we know what to try and what not to try? How can we listen to our inner voice even when surrounded by an overwhelming amount of information from people who claim to be experts? In this blog post I will give you practical tips on how to live a healthy lifestyle for you. Ready? Let’s go!

1. The mindset shift

When I first started my journey towards a healthier lifestyle over 10 years ago, I was about 95% focused on aesthetics. I wanted to look good because I thought it would make me feel good. Now, this is true to some extent. We do feel good when we look good. However, the prerequisite for looking good is building good habits from the inside out, not the outside in. After trying so many energy drinks, pre-workouts, herbal teas and tummy tuckers, I started to realize I could not make my fat disappear and hope that muscles would magically appear. I realized that I needed to put in the work. Now I knew that I had to put in the work physically, but I did not realize how much work I had to put in mentally and spiritually!

I had to believe that I could change, even when it looked like all the effort I was putting in was in vain. I had to read a lot of self-improvement books. I had to hang out with people who were further along in their journey than me so I could learn from them. I had to sit my butt down and figure out what I wanted for myself, not what the world wanted for me. I had to set specific goals and make a plan. I had to stick to that plan and not to my mood. Eventually, I experienced massive breakthroughs and now the things that I once struggled to do, have become natural, everyday habits.

1. Trial and error

You may be asking yourself? Where do I start? How do I know what works for me? It’s really all trial and error. You are guaranteed to make mistakes. You are guaranteed to mess up and do things that seemingly mess up your progress. But your progress will never be in vain as long as you are doing your best and putting in the effort. The bible says all things work together for the good of those who love God (Romans 8:28). Do not be afraid to mess up. It’s never a waste when you spend your money or time in an effort to better yourself. It’s always an investment. Always look for the good in everything, even the bad experiences. There’s a lesson in everything, you just have to be intentional in finding it.

1. Be intentional

Lastly, progress - lasting progress - comes from intentionality. We have to be intentional about becoming the best versions of ourselves. It does not just magically happen! It does not happen by accident. It does not happen because we want it to happen. It happens because we make it happen. Be intentional and mindful in your everyday life. Do not just get up and expect certain things to happen because you see it that way in your head. Start to plant seeds intentionally, water them intentionally and you will reap a beautiful harvest. 

1. Self-awareness 

I notice that many people in this world lack self-awareness. Because many people lack self-awareness, they do not take accountability. After all, we cannot hold ourselves responsible for something we do not think we do. Self-awareness is about knowing who you are in the present, not just who you want to be. Sometimes we associate and identify ourselves so much with who we want to be, that we do not see who we are in the present. There is nothing wrong with having negative traits and habits, we all do. No one will ever be perfect and flawless. What matters most is working towards being the absolute best versions of ourselves we can be for ourselves, our family and friends and the world.

Although I will be working on myself for the rest of my life, what has helped me so far is 

1. Spending time alone. I love my own company. During this time I journal, think, reflect, read, walk, and listen to my own thoughts. 

2. Prayer and growing closer to God. God has shown me who I am. He is the reason I know who I am and who I should be according to His word. I love spending time with Him because he corrects me, listens to me and reminds me of who I am.

3. Therapy. Therapy has helped me so much!!! It has helped me to heal. Complete activities that may seem weird and uncomfortable in the moment but helped me to see myself for who I really am in the present. It has also helped me to have healthier relationships with those around me because I became aware of my habits and triggers.

4. Reading a lot of self-help books. Besides the bible, I love reading self-help books! I love them because they give very practical tools on how to build good habits and break bad ones. Some of them even include the psychology aspect of why we do what we do which is extremely helpful to improve self-awareness. Some of my favorite books I have read are Atomic Habits by James Clear, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life and In Business by Charles Duhigg and Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post and please let me know what you think!

When you're doing right and everything goes wrong

“A mob quickly formed against Paul and Silas, and the city officials ordered them stripped and beaten with wooden rods. They were severely beaten, and then they were thrown into prison. The jailer was ordered to make sure they didn’t escape. So the jailer put them into the inner dungeon and clamped their feet in the stocks.”

Acts 16:22-24

If you are unfamiliar with the story of Paul and Silas being beaten and jailed for doing the right thing (according to God’s standards), then let me break it down for you real quick.

Paul was a missionary who spread the gospel and committed many years of his life to strengthening the early churches after the death of Jesus. One day he was traveling with his companions Luke, Silas and Timothy. One day when Paul and Silas were on their way to prayer, a girl who was possessed by a spirit of divination was following them, chanting “These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.” (Acts 16:16-17).

After a few days of this, Paul grew very annoyed by this Spirit and finally decided to cast it out using the authority he had in Jesus Christ (Acts 16:18). Now, this was good for the girl because she was finally free from the demon that possessed her. However, this was not good for the people who “owned” her and were using her demon-controlled powers of fortune-telling to make money. They were very mad that Paul did this because they were making money from her “gift.”

To give this story some context, Paul and Silas were easily thrown into jail because they were jews practicing jewish customs in a Roman culture. Paul casting out the demon in the name of Jesus did not sit right with the people of this city. (verses 20-22). Because of this, Paul and his companion Silas were reported to the authorities and thrown into prison. Not only were they thrown into prison, but they were also stripped, beaten severely and then thrown into prison.

Although in this day and age we can freely rebuke spirits under the authority of Jesus Christ without punishment, we can still relate to this story as Christians. A lot of times, we will be attacked more by the enemy when we keep doing what is right in the eyes of God. When we choose to love, to forgive, to hope and to praise God in the midst of our storms and trials, the enemy is upset. He wants our trials and tests to cause us to lose hope and faith in our Father.

I am not saying it will be easy, but keep doing what is right in the sight of God. Do not look for validation or reward from anyone. Keep pressing towards the goodness of the Lord. God will reward you for this - “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6).

A great example of this is in the very same story we are talking about. After Paul and Silas were thrown into jail, they began to praise God! (Acts 16:25). They praised God after being thrown into jail. That is powerful! They did not wait until after they were released to praise God. They praised Him while they were locked up and after! 

The journey to praise

Now, don’t feel bad if you have not gotten to a place where you praise God through every season - good or bad. None of us are consistent 100% of the time, we all fall short of the glory. However, it is possible to be like Paul and Silas and learn to praise God even in our worst situations. If they can do it surely we can. The Holy Spirit is here to help us.

I used to be the type of believer that was swayed by my feelings. I used to make impulsive, irrational decisions. I used to be so confused and my judgment so clouded. I used to feel all over the place and let my feelings dictate my decisions. Thank the Lord I am not this way anymore! God freed me from this. If you are still struggling with your feelings leading your life, don’t be discouraged. God is here to help you and love you. He is not waiting for you to praise Him to love you. He is patient, kind, merciful and very gracious. Keep pursuing a relationship with Him and spending time with Him. He will help you to become anchored in His truth.

Being anchored in God’s truth is the key to praising Him through every situation. As humans, our feelings will always be changing. Instead of spending energy trying to control how you feel, focus on allowing God’s truth to take root in your heart. Then your feelings will naturally change as your thoughts change. Still, do not depend on your feelings to guide or validate your walk with God.

Like Paul and Silas, you can be doing everything right and feel so wrong. You could also be doing everything wrong and feel so right. Feelings are deceiving. Look to God’s word for the truth. Meditate, journal, and rehearse His truth over and over until you believe it. Speak it and read it until it is louder than your feelings. Practice makes perfect and the more you make the deliberate choice to feed your spirit over your flesh, the more you will start to see that God’s truth supersedes any feelings that come and go.

I believe in you, but more importantly, God believes in you. Keep fighting the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12). I promise your breakthrough is coming. Pray this prayer below as many times as you need to. You will find yourself starting to praise God even when everything is falling apart.

Lord, help me to meditate on your law day and night. I thank you that your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Help me to praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Help me to praise you because praise is a weapon. Increase my appetite to read your word and spend time in your presence. Help me to love you with all of my heart, mind and soul. Thank you for loving me. I praise and worship you, forever and ever. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Let’s talk supplements

Pre-workout? Protein powder? Creatine? Magnesium? Supplements? Help!

This was me for several years after I started my fitness journey. I have probably tried every popular brand of pre-workout on the market. Okay, not every brand because there are so many, but I’ve tried a lot. I tried a lot of pre-workouts for several reasons. One of them is because I wanted to perform how I saw other people in the gym performing. I saw them lifting heavy and crushing their workouts and I wanted to be like that as well. I also took pre-workout because it was trendy and I wanted to fully emerge myself in the gym community. I also took pre-workout because I thought it would make me feel like superwoman and be able to do things I never thought I could!

Boy was I wrong lol. All of the pre-workouts I have ever taken have made me feel jittery, anxious and have a very unregulated body temperature throughout my workout. Not only did they make me feel like this during my workout, but they also made me feel like this AFTER my workout. It would take me several hours to feel normal after I took pre-workout. At first I tried to “push through.” But as I matured in the gym I realized what I really needed to do was listen to my body and stop trying to force something on it because fitness culture said it was what I needed.

After a few years, I finally decided to quit all pre-workouts completely. I got to a place where 1) I built up enough discipline and learned to workout even when I was tired or didn’t feel like it and 2) I learned I am just more of an all natural girly. The only pre-workout I did take after quitting all of them was a non-stimulant fat burner from OxyShred that I took for about 5 months in 2023. Eventually I stopped taking this as well because as I said, I’m just more of an all natural girl. 

When it comes to other supplements like protein powder, creatine and vitamins, I also do not consume these on a regular basis. When I do consume protein powder, it is a vegan one that does not make me feel bloated or have an upset stomach like other protein powders. I do not and have never taken creatine or magnesium. When it comes to vitamins I have had a relationship similar to pre-workout - I have taken many different kinds but finally decided to stop taking any and get my vitamins from whole foods.

There are 5 things I would advise when choosing whether or not you want to take a supplement. 

1. Test your motives

As I said before, I was taking pre-workout for all the wrong reasons. I didn’t realize it at the time but I was taking this to fit in/fit some fitness aesthetic that was being marketed. This is not a good reason to take a supplement. When trying to decide if you want to take a supplement, ask yourself why. You should be taking supplements if you are told by a doctor that you have a nutrient deficiency or if you feel like you really need it and it is not harmful to your body - short-term or long-term. Sometimes supplements can be good for short-term benefits but be harmful in the long run. Do your research before you buy and consume something!

1. Speak with your doctor

As I said before - speak with your doctor. When I was taking a whole bunch of supplements - pre workout, protein powder, BCAAs, etc. - I packed them all in a bag and brought it to my doctor. She is in her 80s so she was very unfamiliar with the supplements and found them to be unnecessary. This made me realize I also did not need all these supplements. I did not stop taking them because she did not like the idea of them. I stopped taking them because she made me realize what I’d known all along - I did not need them.

1. Capitalism 

Before taking a supplement, please take into consideration that these companies are here to make a profit! I am not saying there are no genuine companies that want to contribute to people’s health and wellness journey. There are a few companies that do sell products with clean ingredients and deliver what they claim to deliver. However, many companies just want a profit! Please be mindful of this and use your discernment. Do not invest in a product before seriously changing your habits and lifestyle as a foundation. The greatest investment you can make is in yourself by building good habits, not by paying for a product.

1. Remember, supplements are not a magic cure

Another unhealthy mindset I had when it came to supplements was thinking that they were going to give me my dream body or the motivation I craved or the discipline I lacked. I realize now that these things come with patience, consistency and hard work. Supplements are just that - supplements. They are not magic. They are not cures. They are meant to support an already healthy lifestyle, not cover up flaws in your lifestyle. So remember, before you buy a supplement, think about how you can make simple lifestyle changes. Instead of taking pre-workout, maybe you just need to find a way to get more rest and sleep. Instead of a whole bunch of protein powders, maybe you need to incorporate actual protein into your diet. Figure it out before you rush to Amazon or click that instagram link!

1. Listen to your body

This is probably the most important piece of advice that I can give you. Please, please, please listen to your body. Listen to the cues. Listen to the pain. Listen to the peace. Please do not ignore pain or unfamiliar feelings. Please know when to push through and when to rest. This comes with time and patience, but keep practicing and listening. Your body won’t lie to you. If something is not working for you, please do not try to force it. Please stop taking something that is making you feel bad. And if something is working for you, keep doing it and don’t try to force it on someone else. Just listen to your body, it won’t steer you wrong!

All in all, I am not anti-supplements, I just rather take the holistic approach to health and wellness. I’d much rather consume tea over a pill and move my body/eat whole foods than wear a body shaper/drink flat tummy tea. I am not shading anyone who does this, I am just sharing what has worked for me and what is sustainable to me. 

Do you take supplements? Why or why not? Comment below!

The importance of sleep

Sleep…oh how many of us long for sleep! I know many of us wish we had a better relationship with sleep. According to recent studies, more Americans, specifically women, are reporting getting less sleep and feeling more stressed. This makes sense when we think about all the responsibilities a woman can have, along with alternating hormone levels and lifestyle changes. Overall, all of America is less sleep as time moves forward. But why?

According to a study from Gallup.com, 57% of adults say that they would feel better if they got more sleep, while 42% say they get just enough sleep (2023). These numbers are almost an identical reversal from a poll taken in 2013, when 56% of Americans say they got the sleep they needed while 43% said that they needed more sleep.

This holds especially true for women, specifically young women (age 18-49), who report not getting the sleep they need. 48% of men say they get the sleep they need, while 36% of women say they do not. As a woman, I would like to dive deeper into this topic.

My personal take

As a woman, it is not hard to believe the conclusions from these polls that were taken last year. I am a black woman living in America and although I would not say that I am stressed all throughout the year, there are definitely times where I feel more stressed out and it has an impact on my sleep. On top of being a black woman living in the United States, I am also a new entrepreneur. It is not easy owning a business and trying to figure out how to generate a consistent cash flow. On top of all this, I am pregnant and a wife. I also prioritize family time, working out, cooking homemade meals and spending time with the Lord.

I say all these things not to sound like a victim, but to explain that we as woman go through a lot! We are wives, mothers, daughters, grand-daughters, business owners, full time employees and some of us are single mothers! It is not easy and makes sense why our sleep quality would be inhibited.

Sleep has become a goal

In 1942, 59% of Americans reported getting 8 or more hours of sleep. Last year, 26% of Americans reported getting 8 or more hours of sleep. Woah! That is a significant decrease. However, it is not that surprising. Between technology, demanding work schedules, the encouragement of a grind over sleep culture plus a million and one medications/supplements to indulge in, it is no wonder our sleep quality has become compromised! We literally have to fight to get sleep. I myself, along with others that I know, have made it a literal goal to get 8 or more hours of sleep at night. This includes having a night routine. Taking a nice, warm shower, having a cup of tea, turning off the tv and putting your phone on silent, reading a book before bed, are all a part of a solid nighttime routine. Of course not every night will be like this, especially depending on your lifestyle. Instead of trying to mimic someone else’s nighttime routine or forcing one that doesn’t fit your lifestyle, make your own and do what works for you. Make sleep a priority!

Back to the basics

Many companies capitalize off of Americans’ desperation to get quality sleep. Don’t fall into the trickery! Although some tools and supplements are helpful, like white noise machines and nighttime tea, you don’t need melatonin gummies or magnesium to fall asleep (unless a doctor recommends you take something because of a nutrient deficiency). However, when you build a solid routine and stick to it (for at least 21 days), you can expect to see change. Things like exercise, completing blotches of focused work, walking, taking meetings and eating a balanced diet (cutting down on processed and refined sugar), will all help you sleep better! You don’t need fancy gadgets and supplements. 

Sleep is medicine

It is hard to sleep when you are stressed out, but it is so necessary to sleep because it will help you to feel less stressed (I know, that probably just stressed you out, sorry). But seriously, sleep and stress have a strong connection. This is why it’s important to live an overall healthy lifestyle. We can’t just prioritize exercise but have a poor diet. We can’t prioritize sleep but no exercise or healthy relationships. We need to view our health from a holistic perspective. A part of this formula is quality sleep. Sleep is medicine. So if you can’t sleep because you are stressed, try therapy or speaking to a friend. Apologize if something you have done is keeping you up at night. Pray if you are a believer. Sleep is important and whatever is stressing you out is not worth losing sleep over. 

Taking notes from Gen Z

According to the same article from Gallup.com, Gen Z reports having enough time to sleep and relax, making them twice as likely to be happy than those who do not get enough sleep or relaxation. This information may bother some elders, but I find it encouraging. I think Gen Z is realizing that their mental health is more important than money and stressing over things they cannot control. 

In no way am I encouraging sleeping away the day or our problems, but making sleep a priority can be life changing. Quality sleep is oh so good for the soul.

Spiritual warfare: Preparing for Battle

Please note this post is from 2020

Over the past several months, I have been experiencing intense spiritual warfare. I’m talking late night crying, nightmares, intense feelings of sadness, emptiness, anxiety and loneliness. Simultaneously, I have also been experiencing feelings of peace, joy, faith, happiness, love and stillness. I have been experiencing a plethora of emotions - both good and bad, at high levels of intensity. There hasn’t been much of an in between. Not much of a balance. It’s either good or bad. Happy or sad. Filled or empty.

Now - I know this sounds depressing - but trust me it’s not. And for me to say that means I have come a really long way in my spiritual journey. I have reached a new level of maturity that I am really thankful for.

I wish I could tell you that I am no longer experiencing spiritual warfare or that I am finally out of the fire - refined and gold. But that’s simply not true. I am still in the middle of the war, currently feeling a lot of pressure at the moment. Spiritual pressure. I believe this is because I am about to birth something huge.  

Let me backtrack a little bit. As believers, we will always be in spiritual warfare. Sorry if I bursted your happy little christian bubble filled with flowers, rainbows and upbeat gospel - but it’s true. We have an enemy, a very active one at that - who is literally seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Seeking in this context means to search for, desire, require, demand. This takes a lot of effort. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m not putting this much effort into something unless I know that it is worth it. 

Satan knows the plans God has for us - that’s why he goes so hard. He may not know of it in detail because he doesn’t have the blueprint - but he knows enough to put in a great amount of effort to try and stop God’s plans. How we operate in this war really makes all the difference.

We will have moments where we feel defeated and want to give up, but by God’s power and strength we keep going. This is why prayer, fasting, worship and community are so important. All of these are weapons of our warfare! They allow us to tap into God’s power and continue fighting.

We do not fight like the world fights because we are not fighting a physical war (Ephesians 6:12). We don’t show up to the battlefield with guns and knives. We show up with something much more powerful - the word of God.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword…”

Hebrews 4:12

It is our responsibility and honor to dress ourselves spiritually everyday. Ephesians 6 goes into detail, advising us on what to do to obtain victory. We must put on:

• The belt of Truth

• The breastplate of Righteousness

• Shield of Faith

• Helmet of Salvation

• Sword of the Spirit (the Word of God)

I understand this is easier said than done. We are living in a physical realm and being human beings makes this fight harder. But I want to encourage you to keep going and provide some tips to add to your perspective the next time you find yourself caught in the fire. 

You can’t solve a spiritual problem using an earthly method

As I said before, we are fighting a physical war. People and things are not the problem! Stop attacking your brothers and sisters in Christ - your family, your church members, and yes - even your non-christian boss. They are not the enemy, even if the enemy is using them to get to you. The real enemy is Satan. Let’s stop attacking each other and attack him!

Stop letting him have power over you and start using the power and authority that has been given to you through Jesus. Start declaring and decreeing the promises that God has over your life out loud. Start talking back to fear. Start binding and loosening things here on earth so they can be bounded and loosened in heaven. Stop begging for God to help you and hop in your spiritual bag sis. Get on your bully, get gangsta and go to war! You were made for this.

Worship. Pray. Fast - repeat

As I have said before Worship. Pray. Fast. 

Worship. Pray. Fast. 

Worship. Pray. Fast. 

Worship. Pray. Fast!!!

I can’t stress this enough. We think the end to our pain and turmoil during trials is more money, more sex, more weed, more liquor, more church (yes, even church can be abused). But all of these things mean nothing if the war is still intense, we’re still in it and we’re still in a victim mindset. 

Worship with your heart not just your lips and hands. Worship by letting your life be a reflection of the savior. Love others; be there for others. You never want to become so spiritual that you don’t meet the practical needs of others. 

Worship by seeking God’s will. And I mean really seeking - asking God what He wants instead of constantly praying for what you want. Cling to God like never before and repent. Ask Him to search your heart and create a clean heart and a pure spirit within you. 

Count it all joy

Lastly - count it all joy. Don’t just count it all joy because it’s going to get better - count it all joy because the testing and the trials are a good thing! I know even as a believer it is hard to see the good in the bad when you’re in the thick of it. But that is why we have to constantly feed our spiritual man, die to our flesh and constantly seek to see things from God’s perspective instead of our own. 

James 1:2-3 says -

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (NIV).

I have strived my whole life to actually live this verse out and I can finally say I have reached a breakthrough. 

My tires just got popped? I’m gonna praise God.

My man who I think is my man but is not really my man not paying me any attention? I’m gonna praise God.

People talking down on my name? I’m gonna praise God!!!

I have gotten to the point where I know my purposes as a believer and one of them is to count. it. all. joy. Not just one thing. Not just two things. Count it all joy. Period! 

In conclusion, I’d like to say don’t be discouraged if you are at a place right now where you are down and out, tired (physically and spiritually), you feel alone and you just feel like this christian life ain’t for you. But just remember, God created you - He knows exactly what you’re going through, He said He would never leave you or forsake you and He is not just interested in giving you everything you want. He is interested in giving you the best and making you better, for your good and His glory.

Keep fighting, you’re almost there. ❤️

#Stayblessedyall ! ✨

5 simple ways to live a healthier lifestyle (part 2)

5 simple ways to live a healthier lifestyle (Part 2)

If you have not already, make sure you read part one of this series! If you have already, let’s dive into more practical ways to live a healthier lifestyle!

1. Consuming a nutritious breakfast

I know that not everyone is a breakfast person so this may not be for you, but consuming a nutritious breakfast has helped me to live a healthier lifestyle overall. I find that when I consume a nutritious breakfast with whole foods that I have more energy, increased productivity, less brain fog and just more pep in my step! I also don’t get hungry as quickly for lunch or have an increased craving for sweets. Overall, I enjoy the act of making breakfast a part of my morning routine. It is a form of self-care for me, being able to make a nutritious meal to start my day and fuel my body with energy. 

1. Healthy snacking

Healthy snacking is another habit that I have incorporated that has helped me to live an overall healthier lifestyle. Snacking healthily has helped me to avoid unnecessary fatigue and sluggish energy. Choosing an apple with peanut butter has always helped me to have less brain fog and focus on my work more than a bag of doritos and a soda. Having a healthy snack is equivalent to a nice cup of coffee. It may not give me the exact same boost of energy, but it does strengthen me, keeps me full for longer if I can’t get to lunch as soon as I’d like and it makes me want to make other healthy eating choices throughout the day. Homemade trail mixes, granola with yogurt, fruit with peanut butter or nutella and veggies with hummus are all some healthy snack choices.

1. Travel 

Traveling is a big part of living a healthy lifestyle! I love, love, love traveling! I love the pre-travel excitement, the journey and landing safely to my destination. Whether it is a road trip or a flight, make traveling a priority. No one is too broke to travel, you just have to be resourceful. I suggest doing research, following travel blogs/influencers who travel on a budget and starting small like going outside of your state before going outside the country. Traveling helps you to embrace perspectives you learn about of the world and helps you to learn about yourself. Plus, it’s so good for your mental health to take a vacation!

1. Surround yourself with like-minded people

I say this all the time, but it is so, so, so important to surround yourself with like-minded people! I am not talking about yes men or people who just agree with you on everything. I am talking about people who communicate healthily, people who uplift and support you, people who give you constructive criticism, not just criticism. People who love you for who you are but still push you to be your best self. People who augment the light in you instead of trying to dim it and people who share similar visions of the future, even if they are taking a different path to get there. 

1. Do something you love

Having hobbies you enjoy is a life hack! It helps you to relieve stress and anxiety, spend time with yourself, build a community around that hobby and is your contribution to your community and the world. This hobby can be cooking, cleaning, fitness, hiking, writing, dancing, reading, coding, watching movies, leaving reviews on products, visiting coffee shops…whatever it is, if you enjoy it and it is not harming anyone or yourself, do it!

Let’s talk repentance

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.

Acts 3:19

It wasn’t until recently that I started practicing repentance. I always knew repentance was a gift, but I never realized how powerful and imperative it is in having a fruitful and intimate relationship with God. I think I subconsciously thought that because Jesus died for our sins, there was nothing to do but receive God’s forgiveness and wait for him to change my heart. I did not realize what a blessing it is to be active in the gift of repentance.

Repentance is a gift from God 

Therefore this is what the Lord says:

“If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them.

• Jeremiah 15:19

Repentance is a gift from God and one that has been around since the beginning of time. Acts of repentance are found in both the old and new testaments. 

Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’

• Matthew 4:7

Many of the prophets and leaders were led to repentance when they sinned against God. David repented after committing murder and adultery. Abraham repented when he decided to give his entire life to God after leaving behind a family and lifestyle of paganism. Paul repented for killing so many Christians once he had an encounter with the one, true, living God. Repentance is not exclusive to anyone, but available to everyone. It is not the Lord’s will for any to perish, but for all to experience eternal life with Him (2 Peter 3:9). Repentance is a gift and it is up to us to open our heart to receive it.

Repent, not just in words but action

One thing I realized when I started to have a deeper, more personal relationship with God is that repentance is not just something to be done in words, but action as well. It is not enough to just say, “I repent.” Our actions must also reflect a heart of repentance. I realized that I should partner with God to glorify His name throughout the earth. One way to do this is by displaying works that glorify His name and show a heart of repentance. It is not just about feeling bad, it is about surrendering this emotion and shame to the Lord and learning to walk in His ways more.

When we read the Lord’s words and study scripture, it is our responsibility to live out these words. When we don’t, then we need to confess our sins and repent. 

Repentance to others

We are called to repent to God, but we are also called to repent to others as well. When we feel conviction for what we have done to others, we are called to reconciliation. 

Matthew 5:21-24 says,

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

This passage is pretty self-explanatory. Reconciliation is so important to the Lord that he says any of us who are angry with our brother and sister and call them out of their name are subject to judgement and in danger of hell fire. This is not something that should brew fear in us. Instead, we should prioritize repentance and reconciliation to others because God considers it a priority. It’s very important to Him and therefore should be important to us. 

To share a personal story, I have a friend that I had a falling out with a couple of years ago that I apologized to afterwards. The falling out was my fault and I knew it, although I tried to deny it for a long time. Even others around me fed my ego, telling me it was her fault. However, I knew deep down it 

Lack of repentance can block our blessings

When we do not repent for our sins, we can block the blessings God has waiting for us. The bible says, “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13).

We will not prosper or have the relationship we desire with God or others if we do not confess our sins and renounce it. We will find mercy once we do.

In summary, repentance is something that we should do regularly, not just once in a while. It should be done as an act of reverence to the Lord and out of love for Him and others. When we repent, we see that the fruit of this is experiencing a rich, fruitful and intimate relationship with God.

5 simple ways to live a healthier lifestyle

5 practical ways to live a healthier lifestyle

When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle, I believe simplicity is best. I used to think that I needed so many external things - supplements, classes, equipment - in order to achieve success on my health and wellness journey. Now that I am older and wiser, I have learned that simplicity is best. There is nothing wrong with supplements, expensive workout classes or fancy equipment. However, nothing beats going back to the basics. 

In a culture that has made health and wellness about capitalism, it is not that easy to deny our urges to buy things to make us feel temporarily good. It is actually more difficult to resist these urges and keep doing the mundane, building healthy habits through routine. But it is so worth it to keep doing the same things, consistently, to build healthy habits. These “small” actions bring huge results!

1. Sleep 

Getting adequate rest is so important! Sleep is so productive, rejuvenating and refreshing. Our culture likes to prioritize hustle and bustle, grinding until our health is on the line and being busy just to be busy. It’s actually considered a radical act to turn down weeknight plans to ensure you get a proper rest for the next day. Don’t let fear of missing out keep you from getting sleep!

I also want to point out that quality sleep is what we are talking about here. I am talking about those times where you can sleep for 6-7 hours but it feels like 9. Everyone is different, but at the end of the day, we all need quality sleep to function at our best. Women need even more sleep than men, so ladies don’t be afraid to put your phone on silent, slip on your bonnet and get cozy all by 10pm. Getting quality sleep is worth it. Mentally, you feel more sharp and can move forward with clarity. Physically, you feel more empowered to get through the day with a pep in your step. 

1. Being in Nature

Being in nature is another simple and effective way to move towards a healthier lifestyle. You do not have to spend hours outside to feel the power of nature at work. Sometimes, all you need is a nice, 10 minute walk, to clear your head, breathe some fresh air and get some movement in surrounded by trees, birds, flowers and foliage. Your surroundings will look different depending on where you live in the world, but everywhere has beauty in it, you just have to choose to see it and embrace it.

1. Do things you enjoy 

The healthiest people I know do things that they genuinely enjoy and say no to things that they do not enjoy. It took me years to finally stop hanging around people and doing things that I did not like. I guess I would hang out with them or do things I did not enjoy because I longed to be surrounded by a quality community, but the best thing to do is spend time alone until you find yourself with the right people.

I enjoy reading, going to church, watching movies and tv shows, trying healthy recipes, exercise, walking, getting massages, facials and going to the spa! I do not enjoy going to the club, partying, staying up until 2am socializing, drinking, smoking or loud music. Call me whatever you want but I am so happy that I finally decided to embrace who I really am and participate in what I consider fun!

1. Treat yo’self!

You can eat healthy all you want, but if you don’t treat yourself sometimes, you’ll go crazy! As human beings, we crave balance. Restrictions only lead to overindulgence in the future. Do yourself a favor and eat that damn cookie! So you don’t have 5 cookies at midnight when your cravings start to kick in.

I tell clients, family and friends all the time - stop restricting yourself! Eat clean and prioritize healthy, whole meals - but also prioritize your favorite snacks and foods. It is okay to eat pizza on the weekends or even one night during the week. It is okay to have ice cream for dessert. It is mostly about portion control, not about resisting your favorite foods.

1. Consistent exercise

Lastly, consistent exercise will bring so many benefits to your lifestyle - physically and mentally. I am not talking about random, sporadic bursts of exercise. I am talking about regular, consistent exercise. This can be 3 times a week, 4-5 times a week or 6 days a week, depending on your intensity level of the exercise you partake in. Choose something you enjoy. You don’t have to be excited and over the moon prior to every workout session. But you should be happy after your workout.

Regular exercise releases endorphins, can provide mental clarity, helps you feel good , build confidence, practice discipline and it can inspire others to workout regularly as well.

I hope these simple tips to live a healthier lifestyle helps you. If you want to read more about living a healthier lifestyle you can order my eBook on Amazon!

Overcoming childhood trauma from a Christian

Childhood trauma - is it possible to move on?

Nine times out of ten, the story behind the misbehavior won’t make you angry; it will break your heart. 

– Annette Breaux

When it comes to childhood trauma, it is definitely a sensitive topic to discuss. By no means am I a mental health therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or other specialist. I am simply a mental health advocate and someone who takes trauma very seriously.

The reason I take trauma seriously is because it affects how we think and in turn our behavior. Trauma is universal - we have all dealt with it. Although we tend to categorize our trauma into levels and boxes, the truth is we can’t do so because everyone is different and handles trauma differently. The “small” trauma can affect someone in a mighty way. On the contrary, the “big” trauma can seem not so big because someone was able to overcome it in a tremendous way. Overall, I believe we can all overcome our trauma and not just survive it. We can truly thrive even in the presence of trauma. Because with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). 

Trauma should be taken seriously because it affects every area of our lives - our relationships, friendships, marriage, career paths and everyday lives. It affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. No matter how hard we try to bury it, it always seems to resurface in some way or another, many times unexpectedly.

I am not someone who has overcome all my trauma. But I am someone that is determined to face it. I refuse to be a victim to my trauma. Especially as a disciple of Christ, I need to face my trauma so I can help others. I take this call seriously.

Therapy 

I first started therapy in 2018, after graduating college. I had taken a few sessions in the past, as a teenager and in college, but they were random and mostly with counselors, not mental health professionals. In 2018, I began therapy consistently and with more intentionality. I took the homework I was given with discipline. I treated it like a job because the reward was sweeter than money - it was my healing. Nothing feels better than those moments of victory. If you have never experienced healing before, it feels like a weight being lifted off of your shoulder. It feels like you are coming up to breathe again for fresh air after being surrounded by a giant dump of trash. It feels like the first day of spring after a harsh winter. It feels like you are feeling sunlight and fresh air hit your face after being in bed, in the dark for a week. It’s refreshing and it is timeless. It feels even better knowing you worked so hard for it.

If you have not yet, I strongly encourage you to partake in therapy. Try not to go in with any preconceived notions. Just enter it with an open heart. Give yourself and your therapist a chance. Give yourself time to process and overcome old habits, thought patterns and beliefs. Give it a chance and I promise you will get something out of it, even if it is not grand in your eyes. You can always change your therapist and the company you are with if you are truly unhappy. But please do your best to give it a fair chance.

Renewing your mind

A big part of trauma includes renewing our minds. The bible says “do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2). 

The world tells us to prioritize hustle over heart work. It tells us that therapy is expensive and inaccessible, especially for the black community. It tells us that trauma is impossible to overcome. But the Lord advises us not to conform to the pattern of the world. He tells us to be transformed through the renewing of our mind.

Renewing our mind takes time, effort and intentionality. Trauma is nothing to play around with and it should be approached strategically. If you are waiting for it to magically go away, or not bleed into certain areas of your life, you are being unrealistic. Some people believe their trauma will never seep into their professional lives. But if that were true we would not have cattiness, gossip, jealousy, covetousness, lust or unrealistic expectations in the workplace.

Deal with your trauma, don’t let it deal with you!

More than conquerors

The word of God says that we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us (Romans 8:37). The word of God has all the final say and authority. I think it is completely fine to ask God questions about His word. But at the end of the day, God is not a man that he should lie (Numbers 23:19). If He says we are more than conquerors, we are more than conquerors. We just have to renew our minds until we believe it and until His word replaces our thoughts that are rooted in trauma. Our thoughts lead us to feel things and these feelings lead us to act. Changing our thoughts is the first step to changing our behavior.

Life more abundantly

Lastly, the Lord says that the thief comes not but to steal, to kill and to destroy. But He has come so that we can have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). This is one of my favorite scriptures. Guys, we have an enemy that wants us to dwell and live traumatic lives. He loves to layer our trauma with more trauma. He loves when we ignore what we have been or are going through. He loves when it leads us to hurt others.

However, God says that he came so we can live abundant lives! This is not always materialistic. This is spiritual and includes living life healed, delivered and freed from the shackles of traumatic situations! Does this mean we will never feel the pain or hurt from our trauma again? No. But it does mean that we will dwell and think about it less. It also means we will look at it from a different perspective. We will no longer look at ourselves as victims but victors. And in turn, we can help influence others to live freely too.

How to calculate calorie deficit

Caloric Deficit: What is it?

When I first made a SMART goal to lose weight, I decided to go on a caloric deficit. I heard about it from a few people in my gym community, friends and fitness experts, so I decided to do my own research and embark on my own journey. 

I was so nervous at first because I thought that I would fail. It sounded like I would have to eat way less than I was used to and I did not like the idea of that. I tried so many diets in the past  and failed, so I thought being in a caloric deficit was the same. However, I was totally wrong!

My journey being on a caloric deficit was very effective! It helped me to lose over 12 pounds. It even got to the point where I was losing too much weight, so I had to stop and readjust my goals and nutrition plan.

This is what I would like to talk about in this post. I am going to explain what exactly a caloric deficit is, how to enter a caloric deficit and sustain yourself and how long you should actually be in a deficit. Ready? Let’s go!

What is a caloric deficit?

A caloric deficit is when you consume less calories than you would on a normal basis for the purpose of weight loss. During a caloric deficit, you burn more calories than you take in. When you are in a caloric deficit, your body draws on stored energy in your body, like fat, to fuel you daily activities and metabolic processes. 

I honestly don’t remember how many calories I cut down on when I was on a calorie deficit, but I do know I cut out at least 500 calories. This varies for everyone because we all have different basal metabolic rates (also known as resting heart rates), activity levels, goals and time frames for achieving these goals. Fortunately, they have calorie calculators online to help you with this! Here is one from NASM https://www.nasm.org/resources/calorie-calculator?srsltid=AfmBOoq10SH2RCg_CnLtKdmK6L4zoefrrb-MDSkRln9wKgSGfqByahBY.

Make sure to fill this out as accurately as possible. 

A caloric deficit may sound intimidating and just the thought of having to calculate things may have you feeling stressed out, but it is not as hard as it sounds. There are many resources that help to simplify the process. It is worth it to take the time out to do this if you are serious about losing weight and feeling your best!

How to successfully complete a caloric deficit?

There are several things I would suggest doing before entering a caloric deficit. The first is mentioned above - filling out an online calculator or speaking with a personal trainer/fitness professional to figure out exactly how many calories you need to cut out and for how long. This will help make things very clear and specific for you and your personal goals.

Next I suggest meal prepping. When I was on a caloric deficit I meal prepped for almost two months straight and then for some time after. This helped me so much. I looked up a lot of high protein, low calorie recipes on pinterest, instagram and google. This process was actually fun, trying new recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert! I still use many of these recipes to this day. I highly suggest making sure these meals are high in protein!

The third thing I suggest is making other lifestyle changes to supplement your weight loss journey and ensure success. This includes getting good sleep, surrounding yourself with a positive community, viewing working out as a privilege not a chore, drinking alcohol less or not at all and cutting down or cutting out smoking. All these things helped me because all of my hard work was not in vain or discredited due to poor lifestyle habits. You can work hard by eating healthy and working out but it will not last if you are living an overall unhealthy lifestyle.

The last thing I would suggest doing is making sure you challenge yourself but also be realistic. When I first made my SMART goals to lose weight I decided that I was going to lose 10 pounds in two months. This was actually unrealistic for me and I had to readjust my goals to get to where I needed to. So have patience with yourself and take your time. Slow and steady actually does win the race.

How long should I be in a caloric deficit?

How long you should be in a caloric deficit depends on you. Is this an overall lifestyle change? Or just something you would like to do to fit into a wedding dress? Be real with yourself. Just remember that the shorter amount of time you have to achieve an aggressive goal is the more intense your approach. If you have given yourself 2-3 months to lose 10 pounds you will have to make some drastic changes.

I suggest making goals based on the desire to have a lifestyle change, not just a change for a few months. It is hard to not see changes right away, but what is worse is seeing results go just as fast as they came. So as I said before, take your time and set challenging but realistic goals.

There is nothing wrong with setting a goal to lose 7-10 pounds in 5 months. Based on this goal you can calculate how many calories you need to consume each day, meal prep and follow an effective workout regimen.

When the storm comes

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 

Matthew 7:24-25

When I was younger, I used to think that there were people who had perfect lives. I really used to think that there were two groups of people - one who had perfect lives with no problems and those who had crappy lives with big problems.

LOL.

How foolish was I? As you may have learned by now, everyone has problems. Problems that shouldn’t be put into categories - what is a “small” problem to one person may be a “big” problem for another person and vice versa. We all have problems and we all process them differently.

When it comes to the believer, the way we process problems are extremely different from the world. Yes, we talk about them and we pray about them, but more than that, God has given us specific instructions on how to handle our problems.

One of them has been given to us in James 1:2. This verse specifically tells us to count it all joy when we face trials of many kinds.

Huh?

So just to be clear God, you’re telling me to count it all joy aka be happy when I’m going through it?

Yup. That’s right. God didn’t say to cry, pout, complain or feel sorry for ourselves or give up when we are going through trials. He actually said to count it all joy.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”

James 1:2 (NIV)

There are so many other verses that help guide us through times of trouble, instructing us on how to handle our problems. But I want to sit on this verse for a while.

I have known about this verse for many years. I knew what it meant and what it was telling me to do as a believer. But I never applied it to my life. I just did what a lot of christians do about their problems - pray, but then complain and have no faith that God would actually show up and answer my prayer. 

I think it’s so amazing how God works. He doesn’t remove us from situations or circumstances that we are begging Him to, but He instead brings us through them and that is why we can count it all joy.

In Daniel Chapter 3, when King Nebuchednezzar throws Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the fire, God doesn’t stop the King from throwing the boys in the fire, nor does He remove them from it. Instead, He brings them through it. But wait, the story gets even better - God not only brings them through the fire, He brings them out untouched and unharmed. Not one hair on their head was singed, nor were their clothes smelly or burned (Daniel 3:27). 

God really spoke to me through this story because I’m currently going through a situation that I just want God to fix immediately. But through this story He showed me that the solution that I am looking for is not found in a quick fix or by removing the problem. Instead, He is showing me that all I have is all I need and He is here to take me through the storm. There are things I need to learn, people I need to meet and some things about my character that need to be developed before I just accelerate to the next chapter of my life.

I am truly learning to smell the roses. Instead of trying to rush through this chapter in my life, I am learning to be still and trust God. Do I always have crazy faith and trust God 100% with everything? No. Am I learning to? Yes.

And that’s the point of the journey - not to have it all together and be perfect and blameless, but to enjoy the journey and learn along the way.  It sounds so simple and obvious, but many of us, including myself, get so caught up in the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve that we forget to enjoy life. 

To be completely honest and transparent, I stopped enjoying life. I got so ambitious, self-righteous and hungry for success, that I stopped enjoying the season I was in because I was so focused on the next. It sucked because I was hoping for God to bring me into another season that He had promised to me, but I lost sight of the season I was currently in and thought that it was less important than the next.

I am learning that there is so much simplicity and beauty in the journey that I have been overlooking because I have been forgetting to simply enjoy it. I have been so caught up on the end result and the reward, but the gag is - there is no end result. When does the journey really end? Just because a chapter ends doesn’t mean the story does. God, being the good God He is, has been teaching me to enjoy life again - appreciate the “little” things and simply rest in Him.

I also want to remind you that joy is not just reserved for our “fun” seasons - the ones where we are getting money, going shopping all the time, working out daily so we look snatched, our marriage is in a happy bubble, no one in our family is sick - we can have joy even when the opposite of all these things are happening. Believe that joy is yours in every season, because God said it is. 

But Nehemah, what about the times when I don’t feel joyful? I know I have joy, but I really don’t feel it. All I feel is sadness, loneliness, and depression. When I do feel even a little bit of joy, it is here one day and gone the next. Better yet, it is here one moment and gone the next.

Well, I used to feel the same way. Especially in college. I felt alone, sad, discouraged and depressed. But if I knew then what I know now, I would tell myself to hold onto truth, rather than allow my feelings to dictate and control all of my actions and decisions or what kind of day I was going to have.

A good friend of mine tells me all the time that feelings are good “indicators” not “dictators.” As a society, we have taken our feelings and misused them for the purpose from which God created them for. They are not there to lead us into making bad decisions or any decision at all for that matter; they are there to be acknowledged and processed (outside help is essential - talk to people, see a therapist, talk to God out loud - sometimes we need to hear our own thoughts out loud to hear how ridiculous they sound).

The point is, there comes a time in every believer’s life where they need to decide what type of believer they want to be - the one who lets their feelings dictate their every move - or the one who stands firm on the Word of God in every season.

Which one will you be today?

Change your focus

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2 

What we focus on is what will magnify. If you focus on the bad things in life, they will always seem worse than they actually are. If you focus on the good in life, you are sure to be a much happier, more positive person. If you focus on the God in your life, you will thrive. Focusing on God changes everything. How do you focus on God? Remain in His word. He left us the Holy Bible not as a decorative element for our coffee table, but as a way to communicate to us. Everything we need is in that book. Everything that we need is in God.

Spend time with Him

When I say spend time with God, I don’t just mean at church or bible study. Spend time with God by yourself. Just you and Him. Talk to Him. Cry to Him. Complain to Him. Yell at Him. It is how you will form a relationship with Him. 

Spending time with God is so important to the quality of your life. My life completely changed when I started spending more time with God. I understand it’s not always easy to spend time God and just the thought of it may be overwhelming. My advice is to pick a time out the day that works best for you (I do early mornings 6/7am). Next, try something called the 30 for 30 Worship. It goes like this 

10 minutes of Worship

10 minutes of Prayer

10 minutes of Scripture

This was a really good guideline for me because I wanted to spend time with God so bad but I didn’t know how. I was so overwhelmed with just the thought of spending time with Him that when it came around to actually doing it, I never did. If the 30 for 30 method is too much for you to start with, try spending just 20 minutes with God. If that is too much do 10 and if that is too much do 5! Whatever works for you.

Let go, be weak

Lastly, let go. Stop trusting in your own willpower to save you. Stop trying to plan out your whole life, stop trying to do God’s job. If our lives were being sustained through our own willpower we wouldn’t even be here. Our willpower failed us from the beginning of time. Our willpower failed us all the way back in the garden. It failed Eve which caused her to bite the apple. It failed the children of Israel and caused them to waste 40 years of their life. Our willpower will only take us so far and will only keep us for so long. The next time you feel the urge to tap into your willpower when you are feeling weak, pray instead and ask God to help you depend on Him.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Prepare with God

Lastly, prepare with God - God has given us everything we need to live an abundant, victorious life. Along with that, it’s what He wants for us. It is His will for us to live abundantly (John 10:10). We prepare to live the life God has given us by waking up every morning and getting dressed. Not physically, but spiritually. 

Ephesians 6 tells us everything we need to wear everyday, in order to succeed in the spiritual and natural realm. We are to put on -

• The belt of truth

• The breastplate of righteousness

• Shield of faith

• Helmet of Salvation

• Sword of the Spirit (the Word of God)

I know it sounds like you are going to battle, but that’s because we are. Everyday is a fight, but not one where we have to leave the battlefield exhausted everyday. It is one that we should be honored to fight, because we learn so much about God, the Father, we learn so much about ourselves, we learn so much about life and others and love. That is a life worth dying for. That is a life worth going to battle for.

Let’s talk body recomposition

Let’s talk Body Recomposition

Simply put, body recomposition, also known as “body recomp” is the art of losing fat and building muscle at the same time. With body composition, someone can be the same weight or even weigh more, because muscle and fat can be the same weight, but look very different.

For example, someone can be 130 pounds in January, but most of this weight is fat. Through diet and exercise, this person can still remain 130 pounds but with most of it being muscle instead of fat, along with the weight of that muscle being redistributed to other places of the body. So instead of a large stomach, this person can have a more toned stomach with more muscle weight in the legs. They can also have more muscle in their back and arms. They still weigh the same, but most of this weight is muscle instead of fat.

Body recomposition has become very popular over the years, especially amongst women, especially those who strength train. With the evolution of fitness, more women are realizing that strength training can be a powerful form of exercise to achieve the desired results of a slim waist, beautifully toned arms and round, firm glutes. I personally have gone through my own form of body recompositioning. I have experienced the art of cardio mixed with strength training to achieve a toned body with strong muscles. 

Why consider Body Recomposition?

I love the art and process of body recomposition. I think it is especially beneficial for beginners on their fitness journey. This is because you can switch up your workouts with an infusion of cardio, HIIT and strength training so exercise isn’t boring. It is also beneficial because you can build a solid nutrition foundation. With body recomposition, oftentimes we go into a caloric deficit in order to lose fat. Although this may seem too restricting it is not! It actually taught me better eating habits.

The reason why we can still feel full even in a caloric deficit is because we are (or should be) eating enough protein according to our body weight and protein increases satiety (the feeling of fullness). In a caloric deficit, it is typical to eat about 1.6 grams of protein per body weight. So if you are 180 pounds, you should be consuming 288 grams of protein per day. Don’t be intimidated by these large numbers. Once you switch up your nutrition habits, you will see how simple it can be to incorporate more protein into your diet.

Body recomposition also taught me how to be more active in everyday life. Even on rest days I’d take walks, do fun activities like rock climbing with friends and stretch. This is because I was building healthy habits all around.

How to accomplish body recomposition

Body recomposition is accomplished by several factors. This includes figuring out how much weight you want to lose (be very specific, i.e. 15 pounds), tracking your macros (setting a protein goal) and calorie intake and following a strength training routine that includes progressive overload. This is a simple recipe for body recomposition.

The reason you want to be very specific with how much weight you want to lose is because setting specific goals will help you to create specific and detailed plans, as opposed to just winging it. When I first set out on a weight loss journey I set out to lose 10 pounds in two months. Although I did not lose the 10 pounds in two months (it took me about  six months) it still was effective because I was working towards something specific. 

When it comes to tracking your macros this doesn’t have to be as tedious or restrictive as it may sound. I also think it’s only necessary to do this for maybe a few months, not long-term. It just needs to be implemented long enough to become a habit. Once you begin to read labels and continue tracking your fat, protein and carb intake, it will become a habit overtime. Remember, always prioritize protein and eat at least 1.6 grams of protein per body weight!

Lastly, following an organized fitness regimen is also key. This includes one that implements progressive overload, which is doing the same movements overtime but adding weight to build strength and endurance as time progresses. This does not have to be boring and switching things up is always good! Stick to a plan, but also be flexible enough to listen to your body and try new activities outside of strength training like swimming, pilates, walking, boxing, etc.!

Rest + Recovery

Rest and recovery is something that I neglected when I first started my fitness journey. I believed that rest was for the week and I needed to earn my rest days. I realize now that rest and recovery is just as important as working out. Without proper rest and recovery, we wouldn’t even be able to workout! We would just be burnt out and not be able to show up as our best selves. We probably won’t be able to show up at all. Proper rest includes quality sleep, massages, stretching, myofascial rolling, active rest days, family time, spending time alone and just doing nothing sometimes. 

A healthy mindset

Overall, although you are aiming for an outside transformation, remember that the inside transformation is important too. This is where it starts. Be kind to yourself, practice compassionate self discipline and remember - no matter how hard you work, transformation just takes time. Prioritize rest and recovery just as much as you do working out. Stick to a specific nutrition plan, one that includes cheat days. Be creative, have fun and keep getting back up, no matter how many times you fall.

Exercising our spiritual muscles

Exercising our spiritual muscles

For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

1 Timothy 4:8

When it comes to physical exercise, I will be the first to say how much I genuinely enjoy exercising. When I first started my fitness journey over 10 years ago, exercise felt like more of a chore. Now, I look forward to exercising. Of course there are some days when I have to really push myself to work out because I don’t feel like it. However, overall I enjoy it and it makes me feel really good, mentally and physically.

I say all this to say that my journey walking with the Lord has been very similar. Although I was raised in the faith and have had a relationship with God before I even entered the world, I began to stray away around the age of 16. When I found my way back to Christ in my mid-20s, that is when I realized the importance of not just spending time with God when I felt like it, but spending time with Him on a consistent basis. Some seasons even require extended quality time with God.

At first I looked at it as more of a chore. I felt forced and obligated. It also felt like I was crossing something off of my to do list. I felt like I had to do the same thing with God everyday. The words of the bible were not really coming alive for me. They were just words I read because I knew they were beneficial for me spiritually. Now, I do not believe this is a totally bad thing. I believe that we should do things we do not feel like doing because they will benefit us later. Discipline is truly greater than any temporary feelings or emotions. However, now that I have matured in my relationship with Christ, just like I matured in my relationship with exercise, I have come to realize both can be genuinely enjoyed.

I have come to a place where like exercise, I genuinely enjoy spending time with God. I like talking to Him, I like listening to Him and I really enjoy reading my bible. Are there times where I don’t feel like reading or praying? Of course! But these are just fleshly feelings. I know once I read and pray, those fleshly feelings that did not want me to read or pray will actually end up being gratefulness for having shown up in spite of not wanting to.

This is why we don’t make decisions based off of our feelings. This is why we don’t follow our heart. The bible says, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? - Jeremiah 17:9.

Now, going back to our anchor verse in 1 Timothy 4:8 - For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come. I love exercise and I am grateful for my health. However, I know that exercise is not the reason for my health. The Lord is. I know this because there are many people who exercise and follow more balanced diets than I do, but still face severe mental health illnesses and body diseases. Many “healthy” people still deal with cancer, diabetes and other internal issues. I am not saying they are going through this because they do not walk with the Lord, every situation is different. I am saying that true health and wellness comes from and starts with God.

Even though some worship the gym and bodily exercise, we know from God’s word that it does little. What does a lot is godliness and spiritual exercise. 

So, how do we exercise spiritually?

1. Fast 

Fasting is a great way to exercise spiritually. Fasting spiritually is a discipline that has so many benefits. When we fast, we consecrate our flesh so that we are able to feed our spirit. In turn, our spirit grows stronger. Fasting can break strongholds and push forth breakthroughs. Some blessings can only come from fasting and prayer.

“And when he was come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, Why could not we cast him out? And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.”

Mark 9:28-29

“Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.”

Matthew 17:21

2. Pray

“Pray without ceasing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17

The bible instructs us to pray without ceasing. Now of course this does mean that we are on our hands and knees all day praying non-stop. This means that we pray when the Holy Spirit prompts us. We pray everyday even if it is “small.” We pray when God wakes us up, whether it is early morning or the middle of the night. We pray when we remember. We pray with others and for others. This is what it means to “pray without ceasing.” We pray because prayer strengthens our spirit!

3. Read God’s words

Lastly, I have said it once and I will continue to say it again and again. We need to read our bibles! We can pray and fast all we want, but without knowing the word of God it is useless. We must read God’s word because it will strengthen our spirit, draw us closer to the Lord and allow us to hear God’s voice. We cannot recognize a voice we are unfamiliar with. We become familiar with His voice by reading His word.

I hope this blog post helped and encouraged you to go out and exercise your spiritual muscles. There are many more things we can do to strengthen our spirit, but these are the basics. Comment below some of your favorite ways to exercise your spirit!

Let’s talk muscle imbalances

What is a muscle imbalance?

A muscle imbalance is when one or more muscles in our body is stronger, weaker, bigger or smaller than the same exact muscles on the other side of our body. Muscle imbalances can occur in any muscle/muscle group. They can occur within our shoulder muscles, our abdominal muscles or our lower body muscles. 

What causes muscle imbalances?

Muscle imbalances are caused from several things including poor posture, incorrect exercise form, an inefficient workout program, everyday activities that you may perform at your job or even stress.

How do I know if I have a muscle imbalance?

There are several things that can confirm if you have a muscle imbalance. One of them is paying attention to your body after your workout. You will know if you have a muscle imbalance because one or more of your muscles on one side of your body will typically hurt more than the other side. Make sure you complete several bilateral (using both sides of the body) exercises so that you can tell which muscle/muscle group is stronger or weaker than the other.

For example, if you are performing a glute workout and you perform glute bridges, squats and deadlifts and by the end of your workout your left glute hurts more than your right, this could be because your left glute is stronger than your right, so it is carrying most of the weight of the exercises. On the contrary, this could also mean that your left glute is weaker than your right, so it is more sore.

Only you will know best, as you get to know your body more and pay attention. You can also seek out the help of a professional, like a trainer who specializes in corrective exercise that can help you.

Another way to know if you have a muscle imbalance is with a static postural assessment. In less fancy words, this just means standing up regularly and taking pictures of yourself or having a professional trainer examine you to see which side of your body maybe slouches more or looks bigger or smaller than the other side.

Another way to know if you have a muscle imbalance is by working with a professional trainer and doing several fitness assessments to see where there can be muscle imbalances in your body.

How do I correct a muscle imbalance?

Correcting a muscle imbalance takes strategy, time and patience. It can be very frustrating dealing with a muscle imbalance. Trust me, I know from personal experience. However, it is possible to get realigned and have your muscles in sync again.

One way to do this is through performing a lot of unilateral exercises. This is the opposite of bi-lateral and is when you perform an exercise on one side of your body at a time. This includes split squats, lunges, side planks, leg lifts, one leg glute bridges, donkey kicks, one arm bicep curls, one arm hammer curls, one arm rows and many more.

Another way to correct a muscle imbalance is to be mindful of your form, not just with exercise but in everyday life. Be mindful of the way that you are lifting something, be mindful of how you pick things up, be mindful of how you walk and mindful of how you drive. Make sure to take breaks from work if you are sitting down all day and if you work from home and have your own set up consider investing in a treadmill to put under your desk.

Lastly, consider working with a professional trainer. They will have more knowledge than you and can possibly help you more, especially if you have a very unique situation. Corrective exercise trainers will be especially helpful in correcting muscle imbalances. Their expertise is specifically in this field.

Salvation vs. Sanctification

Salvation vs. Sanctification

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Romans 10:9

When it comes to salvation and sanctification there are some key differences. Some believe that they are the same thing. However, they are not. Sanctification is a one time action that someone does to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. In other words, salvation happens when someone is saved.

Sanctification is an ongoing process. It is the process of us being renewed and restored through Christ. This takes place every single day. Or, it should at least. Every believer should be intentional and active when it comes to being sanctified. It is not something we can do ourselves, but it is something that we can partner with God to receive. Sanctification happens when we read our bible, when we fast, when we pray, when we fellowship, when we step out of our comfort zones to complete assignments from God and when we endure through trials and tribulations so we come out refined. 

When Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were taken from their home and brought into captivity, they were tested and put through many trials and tribulations. They were tested when they had to say no to the foods that were offered to them from King Nebuchadnezzar and instead eat vegetables and water. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were also tested when they were thrown into the fire for not bowing down to the statue of King Neduchadnezzar (Daniel 3). Job was tested when he lost absolutely everything in his life but still chose to worship and praise God even when people around him told him not to.

All of these tests were opportunities to be sanctified. And all of these men were sanctified through these experiences because they chose to cling to and trust God. When Daniel and his friends ate only vegetables and water, they were actually healthier and meatier than their peers who did eat the king’s meat (Daniel 1:15). The Lord delivered Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fire (Daniel 3:25-27). And the Lord restored all that Job had - twice as much! (Job 42:10-17).

Sanctification may be a painful process at the moment but we always come out on the other side because of the Lord! We always come out more refined, wiser, more spiritually fit and with a cleaner heart, a purer spirit. What we go through is not in vain when we go through it with the Lord. This is why we can count it all joy when we experience various trials and tribulations (James 1:2-4).

Our attitude during the process

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

James 1:2-4

I just want to reiterate that sanctification is an ongoing process. As Christians, we never “arrive.” It is a continuous journey towards being more like Christ. So do not beat yourself up or think you have backslid because of one mistake. There is a difference between someone who is living a sinful lifestyle with no repentance and someone who is actively trying their best to love the Lord, follow His commands and be Spirit led. Embrace sanctification, even when it is hard, because the rewards are always greater than the pain, and it will bring glory to the Lord. 

Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

2 Timothy 4:8

Cancel the prosperity gospel

If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us

2 Timothy 2:12

Some believers have this idea that when we accept Jesus into our heart life will be easier, smoother, less bumps in the road. But oftentimes, it is actually the opposite. We get more attacked many times because we are now a part of a mighty kingdom. One that comes with being involved in spiritual warfare.

So do not believe the rhetoric that something is wrong because you are going through trials and tribulations. Oftentimes, you are doing something right when you are being attacked. Believers everywhere are experiencing this, not just you. (1 Peter 5:8). However, if we stand firm and resist the devil and his schemes, he will flee (James 4:7).

We are not alone

Lastly, although many times it can feel like we are alone because our flesh feels lonely, this is far from the truth. The Lord says He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5-6). In a world that glorifies self-sufficiency, make sure to repent from this. I am not saying it is bad to be able to take care of yourself and others and live a successful life. However, we are nothing without God. All things are for Him, through Him and to Him. (Romans 11:36). Salvation comes from Him and so does sanctification. We cannot be renewed and transformed without Him or the help of the Holy Spirit! So do not be afraid to pray without ceasing. Do not be afraid to be totally dependent on God, because He will not run out of energy or get tired of hearing from you. He wants and is able to help. He will always come through.

Health & Wellness in the Black Community

Health & Wellness in the Black Community

According to the CDC, the percentage of men 20 and older in the black community with obesity is 38.7%. The percentage of women 20 and older in the black community with obesity is 55.9% 

(2015-2018).

The percentage of men 20 and older with hypertension is 56.8%. The percentage of women 20 and older with hypertension is 61%

(2017-March 2020).

The percentage of adults aged 18 and older in fair or poor health is 18.7%. This number is 14.4% in white communities (2023).

The percentage of black and brown adults ages 18–64 without health insurance coverage at the time of the interview was 10.2% (2023). In white communities this is 6.8%.

The leading causes of death in black and brown communities are heart disease and cancer.

We can go over negative statistics for hours. I too was once a statistic of poor health as a black woman. I am very grateful that with the support of family and friends, nutritional education and health insurance, I was able to overcome my diagnosis. However, I know this is not the case for many black and brown people in America.

When speaking about health in the black community, I speak from personal experience. I was born, raised and currently live in one of the unhealthiest counties in America - The Bronx, NY. Sometimes it is hard for me to believe that this is true. It does not seem that bad honestly. But then I remember that I am just one person and I am not the typical story of overcoming an unhealthy diagnosis. I have friends and family members that are currently going through struggles that range from high blood pressure, diabetes, migraines, PCOS, and cancer. It is heartbreaking to hear about but what is more heartbreaking is that these things are preventable!

Unfortunately, black and brown people are not a priority to the healthcare system. As the statistic above reads - more health insurance coverage is granted to white people than black people. The percentage is significant. There is no way that we should be living in one of the wealthiest countries in the world and yet be experiencing such poor lifestyles.

Our health issues go beyond eating and not exercising. Black people not only deal many mental health issues. There are so many liquor stores and opportunities to buy drugs in urban communities to self-medicate instead of going to therapy. There are high pollution rates so chronic asthma has increased over the past century and there is a significant lack of education when it comes to finance, health and wellness in our schools, at our jobs and in our families. Unfortunately the list of health related issues is too extensive to go through in this blog. However, I still want to speak on a few and more importantly, offer some solutions.

1. Nutrition

According to the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, predominantly black neighborhoods have 2.4 fast food restaurants per square mile, compared to 1.5 in predominantly white neighborhoods. What is worse is that in the late 1990s, there were about 337 black-owned McDonald’s franchises in the U.S., but today there are about 186 (this pertains to financial health which we will get to later). Going back to nutrition, all of this is intentional. It is not an accident that there happens to be more fast food restaurants and less healthier options in black neighborhoods than in white neighborhoods.

America’s history with Black people has been very disturbing. Although we may not be in physical chains anymore, we are still confined to so many racial disparities today. We have to plan and travel more than 5 minutes in order to eat healthy fast food or grocery shop somewhere with fresh/organic produce at an affordable price. Many will say this is not true, but when compared with our white counterparts, it is very true. Shouldn’t there be equality when it comes to food?

1. Financial Health

As I mentioned above, financial health is also not something that emanates from the black community. In order to improve one’s financial health, there has to be a desire and action taken to change generations of poor financial health. I was fortunate enough to have a mother who set me up to have good credit and I still made some very poor financial decisions. If we want to be wealthy and practice good finance habits, we need to read books, seek out mentors, watch YouTube videos and pay for financial seminars to receive wisdom that is oftentimes freely given in white communities.

1. Mental health

Mental health issues plague the black community. I see my very own relatives struggling with mental health disorders that are undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Diseases and issues such as bipolar disease, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction are just a few I have seen first hand. According to numerous studies, black people are more likely to experience mental health trauma and illnesses but less likely to report it or receive help. Black people are also more likely to have consistent mental health issues as opposed to episodic episodes experienced by white counterparts.

1. Physical Health

Physical health of course goes hand in hand with nutrition. When I look around my community, I see a lot of overweight people that have diabetes or issues breathing. I see a lot of people experiencing inflammation, swollen joints and severe acne due to poor eating habits. Our physical health is in jeopardy as a community and it is time we stop ignoring our issues or waiting for someone or something to save us.

The solution

There is no right or wrong solution or a one size fits all approach. However, there are some fundamental and systematic changes that we can implement to see positive changes in our community.

• Start with you

Whether you are black, white or somewhere in between, one thing you can do to help communities of color that are more at risk to health issues and disease is to take care of yourself. It may sound odd, but we cannot take care of anyone else before we take care of ourselves. We can’t pour from an empty cup. Unfortunately, I see so many aunties, grandmas and mothers literally pour themselves empty trying to save or help someone else. The best and most productive thing we can do as black and brown people is to take care of ourselves. Practically, this looks like getting rest. Not just sleep but actually doing things we enjoy. This looks like setting boundaries. This looks like saying no, even to ourselves. This looks like cooking more home cooked meals not just on Sundays or holidays but throughout the week. This looks like replacing soda with water. Whatever self-love looks like to you, do more of that, starting today.

• Education 

As I mentioned before, there has been a significant lack of education in black and brown communities when it comes to all areas of health - physical, mental and financial. The only area we seem to have on lock is spirituality (if you know, you know). But there needs to be a balance. Health and wellness is not about just pouring into one area of our lives. It is taking a holistic approach to health - mind, body, soul. We need to start attending financial workshops so sponsors and organizations can keep hosting them. We need to prioritize our mental health over being liked or trying to fit in. We need to speak with children about things before they experience trauma or things get to a breaking point. Whether we have a professional degree or certificate to teach, we need to educate. We also need to continue to be educated. There are no more excuses. We need to be the actual change we desire to see all around.

• Consistency 

Some people thing consistency is doing the same thing over and over, the same exact way, every single day. However, consistency is about doing the same thing over and over when you said you will do it. It is not about having high intensity every time you show up. It’s simply about showing up and doing your best. As a community, we need to be consistent. We need to be consistent with time (stop showing up late). We need to be consistent in business (keep promises to ourselves and others). And we need to be consistent with our health (keep important things as priorities). We need to stop getting excited over things only to quit when the flame dies out. We need to keep the flame alive through consistency and discipline, not emotions and temporary excitement. 

All in all, we need to grow as a community. Yes, it will be challenging. But we should focus on the part of the process that reminds us we can, not how hard it is going to be. It is hard to change, but what is worse is staying the same. We need to show up for ourselves and for future generations. Just like our ancestors did for us.

How to grow closer to God

How to grow closer to God

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”

James 4:8

Although I have an intimate relationship with the Lord now, I strongly remember the seasons in my life where I did not. I have been Christian my whole life. My parents started reading the bible to me when I was in my mother’s womb. So there was never really a time where I did not know about God. However, there is a difference between knowing about God and actually knowing God. I’m not going to say that my whole relationship with God was a lie. I definitely experienced some deeply personal and intimate moments with Him growing up. I prayed and read my bible religiously. But once I got older I realized true intimacy is not just checking prayer and scripture off of your to do list. It is being real and vulnerable with the Lord. It is also including Him in every area of our lives.

Once I hit my teenage years I started to move towards a sinful lifestyle and was rebellious towards God. To the rest of the world I still looked and acted like a “good girl.” However, I knew in my spirit I was living wrong and had become lukewarm. 

I started to reconnect with God and deepen my intimacy with Him when I graduated college in 2017. My intimacy really went to another level when I decided to partake in a Daniel Fast in 2020. I believe this is what really changed things for me, breaking some chains and allowing me to experience God’s blessings and presence on a deeper level.

There is a famous quote that says, "If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done." I believe this is true and it is no different when it comes to our faith. Sometimes we need to do something radical to experience transformation! The Daniel Fast I joined was outside of my comfort zone and I never did it before. But it brought a lot of transformation to my spiritual walk.

In my quest to become closer to God, I sought out a lot of guidance. I looked up sermons, scriptures, sought out mentors, surrounded myself with a godly community, read biblically based books and worshipped/prayed often because I craved the Spirit of the Lord.

All my labor was not in vain and God honored the seeds I sowed. Now I would love to help you grow closer to God so you can experience a blossoming relationship with Him.

1. Total Dependence on God

You have probably heard the saying, “you need to be totally dependent on God.” If I am being honest these words used to intimidate me. The reason for this is because I did not fully trust God to always come through and because I am a pretty self-sufficient person, so I did not like the idea of being totally dependent on God. If I am being even more honest, I still don’t. Well, my flesh doesn’t. It’s uncomfortable to be 100% dependent on anything or anyone. But if we are to be, there is nothing and no one more worthy of our trust than the Lord! He has and will never fail us. Even when we think He has, we can always look back and see He did not. Being totally dependent on Him does not mean we sit back and let God do everything. It means that we include Him in every area of our lives. Sometimes even down to what we wear! You build intimacy with someone when you let them in. It is no difference with God. Be honest, transparent and vulnerable with Him. Vent to Him, pray to Him, cry out to Him. Give Him everything and watch what He does with it!

1. Obedience is better than sacrifice

And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

1 Samuel 15:22

You have probably heard the term “obedience is better than sacrifice.” This is true because it is written in scripture! (see above). To continuously obey the voice of the Lord is how we experience closeness with Him. It is just like a parent and a child. When a child is constantly rebellious, this child and parent won’t be able to experience a fruitful relationship. The same goes for the parent. If both are not willing to be obedient to the terms of the relationship little to no intimacy will be experienced. When we are disobedient to the Lord, we risk not experiencing a healthy and intimate relationship with Him. This is because sin separates us from God. The Lord is gracious and kind, but if we want to really feel close to Him and experience Him, we need to walk in obedience. This is better than random sacrifices that we do when we feel bad and want to feel close to God for the moment. In order to build lasting intimacy we need to take heed to his commands and His voice.

1. Read and pray daily

Pray without ceasing

1 Thessalonians 5:17

In order to grow closer to God we need to read and pray daily. Now, I know some days will be missed because that’s life. But I have come to realize that when we read our bibles and pray, we hear from God! This is so simple that we underestimate how powerful it is. But God speaks to us through the bible! If we want to be closer to the Lord we need to speak to Him and listen to Him. Here is a guideline for spending time with God if you’ve feel stuck in a rut or do not know where to start -

30 for 30

10 minutes of worship

10 minutes of prayer

10 minutes of scripture

I did this for a whole year straight after completing the Daniel Fast. Sometimes order and structure are best when trying to achieve a goal. Although this is a spiritual goal of growing closer to the Lord, we can still apply practical tools to achieve it.

1. Remain in Godly community

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

Psalm 1:1

Lastly, I strongly recommend surrounding yourself with godly community. I have experienced immense transformation from consistent fellowship with other believers. The bible says that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). When we pour into others and allow ourselves to be poured into, we experience closeness with the Lord in such a unique and beautiful way.

If you have any tips or advice on how to grow closer to the Lord, please take the time out to leave it below!