What Jesus Taught About Forgiveness and Why It Matters Today
Forgiveness: God’s plan
I often hear people say “forgive - not because the other person deserves it but because you deserve to be free.” Now, I do think this is true. We do deserve to be free. We should forgive people whether they deserve it or not because God forgives us whether we deserve it or not. I think when we forgive others, it shows the heart of God.
However, it bothers me when people make forgiving all about themselves. I don’t think that was God’s intention behind the act of forgiving - for it to only be for one party involved. I think God wants everyone involved in the situation to be healed and loved, not just the victim.
At the end of the day, we all hurt people and get hurt by people. I don’t believe forgiveness is exclusively for the person that was hurt. I believe forgiveness is for the person who committed the wrongdoing too. Whether a physical crime or a crime by words - it is important to forgive others because it shows them how real and powerful God is. What if God wants to reach this person through you? What if you are the tool He wants to use to touch this person’s heart?
I understand this is not comfortable - to forgive & love those who have wronged us, but as a believer it is important to know that not every part of the journey is comfortable. Sometimes God uses us in ways that make us uncomfortable, but in the end it is for our good and more importantly, His glory.
In Matthew 18 Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother before he can stop extending mercy and start dubbing him (this would definitely be a question I would ask). To summarize, the conversation went a little something like this -
Peter walks up to Jesus: “yo J, wassup let me holla at you real quick.”
Jesus: talk to me.
Peter: about how many times can someone sin against me and I still forgive them? Like seven times?
Jesus: *smirks and chuckles* - na, not seven times. Try seventy times seven.
Peter: Iight, Imma head out.
Okay Peter probably didn’t say all that but I’m sure he was probably taken a back a little to know that as a follower of Jesus he not only had to forgive, but forgive over and over and over.
Forgiving someone is an art not a science. There is no step-by-step program on how to forgive someone, nor is there a universal blueprint. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart and it starts with receiving God’s forgiveness.
When we forgive someone, it is not a guarantee that they will have an amazing transformation and turn into the best person on earth. But it is planting a seed that you can’t see or it could be watering a seed that is already there. It is helping that person to see a little more of God’s light in a dark and scary world.
Forgiveness was never about someone deserving it. If that were the case, God would not have forgave us. But Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this - while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Forgiveness and love go hand in hand. Forgiveness is the byproduct of love. Let’s all strive to be more like Jesus by not only loving others but forgiving them.
A perfect example of forgiveness at work is when Paul and Silas were thrown into jail. This situation was really, really messed up. These two men were thrown into prison not for doing anything wrong - but for doing everything right - they were preaching the gospel and freed a woman who was a slave. Not only were they jailed but they were beaten! However, they praised their way through their night in jail and God set them free. Whew, talk about praise being a weapon - but that’s a whole other post you can read about here.
The best part of this story is not them being set free - the best part is them forgiving the very same guards that threw them in jail! They had every right to be bitter, upset and not extend mercy - but as believers and friends of God, they were empowered through Him to forgive. This act led to the guard that was watching over them to be saved.
As Paul and Silas are praying and worshipping God - a great earthquake happens causing all of the prison doors and shackles to break open. Paul, Silas and all the prisoners were set free. Acts 16: 27-30 says,
“The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”
The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
Do you see what took place? The guard panicked and was about to kill himself because he thought all the prisoners had escaped. He thought he messed up his job so bad that he would have been killed so he was about to kill himself. But God is so good - Paul shouted to him telling him not to harm himself because they were still there. Paul and Silas could have been out - but instead of fleeing the scene they wanted to make sure this man was okay. They cared more about his salvation than their escape.
Acts 16:31-34 reads,
They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.
After this Paul and Silas were free to go in peace. What a beautiful story on the power of forgiveness. Paul and Silas were free to go and a man and his entire household were saved and came to know the word of God. Were Paul and Silas comfortable? No. I’m sure they were mad for being thrown into jail when they did nothing wrong. But they worshipped and praised God and showed God’s heart when they stopped the guard from harming himself and preached to him and his family.
This is the power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an act of obedience
You know, as a believer, forgiveness is not optional. We don’t take our advice on forgiveness from the world. We don’t forgive those who deserve it and we don’t take revenge on the people who wronged us. We let God get revenge and we bless those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44).
Does this mean we let people walk all over us like a door mat? Absolutely not.
But it does mean that we seek advice from God on how to handle a situation. If you are in need of wisdom on how to proceed in a situation where you were wronged ask God because He will tell you what to do. All of the answers are found in Him. He will point you to the scripture or story to give you wisdom. The Holy Spirit will guide you. You just have to listen.
This is why I say forgiveness is an art not a science. Every situation is different and often times complex, even petty situations. So we need to seek God for answers instead of allowing our emotions, culture or other people to lead us on what to do.
Vengeance is the Lord’s
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.”
Romans 12:19
God gives us very specific instructions on trying to get revenge. Although you may be unsure about how to handle a situation where someone has wronged you, one thing that you know you should not do is seek revenge. God says that it is his job to avenge and to leave room for his wrath.
Leaving room for his wrath means that we do not keep plotting to see ways we can get back at someone or be petty towards them. I understand this is sometimes our natural inclination - to treat others the same way they treat us, but a part of living out the gospel is putting those feelings to death and obeying the word of God - which says to trust God with all of our heart and not to lean on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). You can read more about trusting God here.
The result of forgiveness
We can’t always see the impact of our forgiveness towards the person who violated us. Sometimes they appreciate our forgiveness and sometimes they don’t. But one thing that we do know is the freedom we have when we forgive someone. We see it in how free we feel. When we forgive, we realize how much joy, happiness and laughter unforgiveness was stealing from us. When we make the choice to forgive others, it liberates us.
Receiving forgiveness
Lastly, I want to talk about receiving forgiveness. We are worthy of forgiveness - not because we haven’t done anything wrong, but because God says we are worthy. He proved this to us when he sent his only son to die a gruesome death on the cross so we can receive forgiveness for our sins.
So the next time you feel like you don’t deserve forgiveness from God, yourself or others, remember that “God demonstrates his own love for us in this - While we were still sinners Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). ❤️